Give me my Butler!
by Maika Tari Saralonde
Summary: What would happen if Butler was missing? Artemis and the LEP go to find him, but they are in for a surprise...
1. Alone

Hello everyone! I went back and I changed the first chapter because I saw a lot of mistakes and needed to change them...plus I have a lot of time on my hands! Review!

First off....I do not own any of the AF characters. I am not trying to steal! I swear! They all belong to Eoin Colfer.

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Chapter One: Alone

Artemis stretched and slowly eased himself out of bed. He walked over to the mirror and studied himself. Yep, he was still Artemis. His usually tidy hair was ruffled, and his stunning blue eyes were bloodshot. He hadn't had much sleep lately. He was up most nights working. Doing the things that his father couldn't. Artemis sighed and ran his fingers through his raven black hair, but it still looked appalling. 

Artemis froze. The house was unusually quiet. Juliet should have been up by now, making breakfast, and Butler should have woken Artemis up long ago. His mother was at the hospital with his father, who had just undergone major surgery. After having spent months in Russia, he needed urgent care.

Artemis opened his door silently and peered into the dark hallway. There was nobody there. Artemis quickly pulled on some clothes and stepped out into the hallway. He was alone and he knew it. He began to wonder where everyone was. 

_Artemis, pull yourself together, _He chided. _It's no big deal. You're sixteen for God's sake. You can handle being alone._

Still, it made him uneasy. 

Artemis made his way to the computer room and turned on the monitor. He waited while the computer loaded. 

_Damn computer, _he thought._ Too slow. _

After a few moments, the computer was ready. 

"You have mail!" The annoying voice let him know. Artemis logged in and quickly checked his mail. He scrolled down. It was mostly junk. 

"Free HomeWell Spa........Lose 50 pounds in three weeks.........Miracle pill that helps you lose weight.........Meet Singles in your area............ free trial membership..........All junk," Artemis read out loud. Then something caught his attention. It was an email labeled: _Might want to Read _and sent by a _GP._ Artemis clicked on it. It looked important. He squinted and began to read.

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AF-

If you want the man and the girl back, you had better not delete this. I want a sum of money. $500,000 to be exact. If this amount is unpleasant to you, I am sorry. But business is business. Come to the forwarded address immediately. If you tell anyone, anyone at all, I will kill them both. Come alone. I am waiting.

-GP

Artemis looked up from the computer. This was bad. Very bad.

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What did you think? Good bad okay? please review! Thanks for reading!!!!

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	2. Cheating

Ok I am back! Muahahaha! I'm done now. I just got back from Disney World so I am really hyper! But now I am ready to write and all that stuff. Here goes...

~~Thanks to:

=Tigris: Thanx!

=NyghtVision:This actually has nothing to do with that part in the book but good idea! I can't wait until you start with THAT story!!!=)

=Spectra16: Thank you so much!

=Citrusy Snicket: Thanks!

=Surrealallstar: Thanks for the advice! I will go back and change the grammatical errors that I made.

*I dont own any of the AF characters. Eoin Colfer does. I told you that already. Ok good. _Now _can I go?? Thank you.

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Chapter 2: Cheating

Artemis was stunned. Nobody in the human world had ever threatened the life of Butler or Juliet before. It was odd. Artemis' body guard needed rescuing. The irony of the situation nearly made him laugh, before he realized that HE was going to have to be the one to save him. Artemis glanced at the message once more. It seemed to glare at him like it knew he was too weak to actually be able to save the two Butlers.

"Shuttup." Artemis told the message. He didn't know why he was talking to something that couldn't hear, but somehow it made him feel better.

_I am going to need some help, _He realized. _But who?_

Something caught his eye. It was a coin. He froze. It was the coin that Holly had given him after they had rescued his father from the Arctic. Holly. The LEP. They would help him. He just knew it.

Artemis quickly typed an email to Foaly, praying the centaur would check his mail soon.

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Foaly,

I need some help. It is most unfortunate that Butler and his sister Juliet have been kidnapped. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it is very true. I hate to bother you, but this is urgent and I know that I am no match for a kidnapper who can capture a man the size of a mountain. Please respond. I will be waiting.

~Artemis

Artemis sent the message immediately. He sat back and waited. It didn't take long. Minutes after the message was sent, Foaly responded.

Artemis-

This sounds serious. I am going to send Holly and Root in. They have agreed rather hurriedly to help you. They area concerned that this kidnapping was not just for money. Holly even thinks that it may be a plan to get to YOU. You need not reply back. H and R on the way now. Don't worry, Artemis. We'll get to the bottom of this.

~Foaly

"I AM NOT WORRIED." Artemis said emphatically. His heart sunk, though. He realized with annoyance that he was worried. He had never been seperated from Butler before. Not like this. 

"Artemis, don't be a sap." He muttered to himself. Turning back to his computer, he began to analyze the email. The message had given him an address, but it didn't look familiar. (A/N: I didn't put the address on the first chapter because I was worried that it would actually be someone's address. That would be bad.)

_Knock, Knock._

Artemis leaped up from where he was sitting and flew out of the computer room. He swung the door open.

"Fowl! What is going on?" Root yelled immediatly. Artemis didn't answer, but opened the door wider.

"Come in." He ordered. They obliged, and sat down on the leather couch in the living room. 

"I don't know what to think. I got this email from someone named GP. It seems authentic, but I can't find any reason why someone would kidnap Butler...and Juliet. It doesn't make sense. I don't want to go and give this guy my money. Number one, I don't think it's all money. He would have asked for a larger sum if it was. I can't be for Butler and Juliet. Why would he need them?" Artemis paused for a breath.

"I'm no genius," Holly said slowly. "But it could be for you, Artemis. It could be a trap. Let's not forget the what happened in Russia. I could very well happen again." 

"I agree," said Root, calmer now.

"But..." Artemis retorted.

"We'll help you save Butler and Juliet, but I think it's a trap. Don't rush headfirst into a trap." Holly said.

"I know. I won't. I just want to get to the bottom of this right now." Artemis' eyes glinted in an evil way. "Nobody messes with Artemis Fowl and gets away with it. Nobody."

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Ok so what? My hand hurts and look at the time!!! It's 11:00 PM! g2g to bed!!! Pleeze review.


	3. The Rescue Begins

Okay thanks for all the reviews!!

Once again, I do not own Artemis Fowl and do not wish to. I am not stealing. I don't own any of these characters. So no suing!!! lol

Thanks to:

~Kelaal: Thanks!

~Tigris: I'll try to make my chapters longer....really I will!

~Maiden Genisis: Thank you! Wow, It's funny....?!?!

~hollyshort13: I will read your story and thanks!

~Surrealallstar: Thankee!

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Chapter 3: The Rescue Begins

"Okay, the address is still in Ireland. Outside of Dublin." Artemis stood and examined the copy he had just made of the e-mail. "I assume you came in a fairy craft?"

"Yes. I think I'll be able to find the location, but we had better start," Holly said, studying the darkening sky.

"Right. Let's go." Artemis grabbed his spare key and led the way outside. "It's cloaked. Where is it?" 

Root led the way over to a grove of trees. In the middle of the grove sat a sleek craft. 

"Oh." Artemis said. "Clever. Isn't that against regulations or something?" 

"No. We only have to cloak crafts while in hostile territory. This is not hostile territory....anymore." Holly smiled craftily. 

"Ah," Artemis grinned back at her. Root opened the door to the ship and ducked inside. Artemis and Holly followed. 

"Buckle your seatbelts," Holly said as she settled into the pilot's seat. Artemis obeyed. Holly punched a few buttons and pulled a lever. Nothing happened. "Hmm." She tried again. "D'Arvit! It won't start!" She twisted in her seat to look at the other two. "This is not good news. It won't start."

"I AM AWARE OF THAT, CAPTAIN SHORT." Root practically yelled. He unbuckled his seatbelt testily and turned to Artemis. "Well, Genius, any bright ideas?" 

"Shuttup. I'm thinking." Artemis furrowed his brow and stared forwards. After a few moments, he sucked in breath. "We could..."

"We could what?" Root and Holly said simultaneously. 

"We could drive the car. My mother's BMW. I don't know how but I'm sure I could try." Artemis said. "If we crash, my mother will KILL me, but it's worth it to save Butler." He sighed. "Well, come on then." He got up and opened the cockpit door. By now the sky was a purple hue and the shadows were long.

"Shit. And I have to drive in the dark. Joy of all joys." Artemis cursed under his breath. He went back in the house for the keys to the BMW, and came back out. Holly was examining the car. 

"I could drive this, Artemis. At least, I think I can." Holly looked up at Artemis. He grinned and threw her the keys.

"Fine. Knock yourself out." He climbed into the passenger side and got in. Once Holly was in the driver's seat and Root in the back, he turned to her. "And I don't mean that literally." 

Holly started up the engine. She smiled and put the car in reverse. "Oh. I took it that you did."

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"Watch out!" Artemis yelled for the hundredth time, as Holly nearly hit a merging truck.

"Stupid Mud-People. You drive too slowly."

"No, you drive too fast!" Artemis retorted. "And if you don't watch it, we're going to get pulled over by the police! I would love to hear that one.... 'Yes, Officer. I know I was going 90. Oh, you want to know why I have no license? Oh, and why I am green?' Holly, I would love to see you get out of that one." Artemis laughed. Holly snorted, and briefly turned to look at Root.

"Why are you laughing?!? It's not funny!" She yelled angrily. Root chuckled.

"Just keep driving." He said. 

"How far is this place?" Holly asked, as she passed a line of cars going about 70. She glanced at Artemis, who had the address. 

"It's a warehouse. You need to turn at the next exit." He checked the address to be sure.

Silence fell over the car. Artemis sighed.

"I have a plan. Whoever kidnapped Butler doesn't know that I have you with me. I will go in alone at first, and you stay back a bit. If things get ugly, you'll be my backup." He said, pulling the briefcase full of money out from under the seat. He also pulled out a black bag.

"What's in the bag?" Holly asked curiously. She was silenced as Artemis pulled out a gun. "Oh. You know how to use a gun, Artemis? You're not the sheltered fourteen year old I thought you were." 

Artemis laughed. "I've learned a few things from Butler." He didn't want to admit it, but he had never used a gun in his life. _How hard can it be? _He thought.

"Here." Root spoke up. They had approached an old but large warehouse. Holly started to pull in, but she was stopped by Artemis.

"No. Keep driving. We want to surprise them." He explained. "We'll walk."

Holly pulled off a mile or so away, and hid the car in the woods. 

"Let's go." Artemis said. He got out of the car and hid the gun under his coat. Holly and Root got their weapons out and followed him. They made no sound. No need for their presence to be known.

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Okay what about it? I tried to make it longer but I want to keep u in suspense. Only a few more chapters to go!! Now go review!!

~Maika


	4. ch 4

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Chapter 4: The Secret Unveiled

Artemis, Holly, and Root glanced around them. Nobody had seen them duck into the bushes. They were safe... for the moment. Artemis leaned over to Holly.

"Okay, come with me. When I give you the thumbs up, stay back and wait. Maybe I can get my butlers back with as little conflict as possible." Artemis looked hopefully up at the tall warehouse. It looked like a hopeless situation, especially if all those cars parked out front belonged to GP's men. He shuddered at the thought of all those people waiting for him in that building. Finally, he took a deep breath and led the way out of the bushes. 

One guard stood barring the entrance. Artemis hung back. Good, no security cameras there. He approached the tall man, who was at least the size of Butler. Artemis cleared his throat. The man turned, and was about to raise his weapon.

_"Stop, Mud Man. Drop your weapon. Turn around and walk to your car. Get in and drive away. Go home. Enjoy your life." _ Holly layered her voice with the _mesmer. _The man obeyed her command and handed Holly his weapon without a word. Holly raised her brows. That had been way too easy. 

Artemis checked that the guard was safely gone, and then he opened the door quietly. There was no one inside. He motioned for the others to follow him. Stepping inside, he noted that the door locked from the inside. He locked it behind him. There would be no one getting in through that door. He didn't want GP calling for reinforcements. Artemis slinked silently down the hallway, sticking to the shadows and checking for cameras every few meters. 

"Shh," Root warned. "I thought I heard voices." They all stopped and listened intently. Sure enough, there were voices coming from a few doors down. One voice was gruff, and sounded commanding. The other was rather whiny and high-pitched. 

"But-" The second voice whimpered. "How can you be sure that Fowl will come today? Don't you think he has better things to worry about than two household servants? Why would he care so much?"

"Shuttup. I have been watching Fowl. He is very attached to this man. They are like brothers. Fowl will come." The gruff voice made a coughing sound to silence the other. The second man took the hint. Artemis heard him grumble something and then walk slowly away. 

"Argndkf!!!" A new voice was heard. It was muffled.

"Shuttup, prisoner. When all this is over, you'll have yourself to thank for not shutting up. We didn't have to gag you, you know. There are worse ways to silence a man." Artemis heard the man crack his knuckles and laugh. 

"It's Butler!" Artemis mouthed to the other two behind him. They nodded. "Stay back. I'm going in. There's only two people in there. I think."

He finished. The elves nodded again and cloaked themselves. They remained hidden, as Artemis slowly opened the door and snuck in.

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The man with the gruff voice was Geoffrey Peters, a British gangster. He was the leader of the most feared gang in England. He had recently escaped a near capture by the police, and was forced to go into hiding in Ireland, until the hubbub died down some. While in Ireland, he had heard of Artemis Fowl the Second, a young teenage boy who was a Criminal Mastermind. Peters wanted Fowl for reasons unknown. He had quietly worked on something in his office and was often found in the mock lab, experimenting. One day, he emerged from the lab covered in grime. 

"Contact Fowl," He had said. His men did not question this odd comment, but did as they were told. All the secrecy was about to be unveiled though.

"Jennings," Peters turned to the whiny man. "Please go and see what that noise was. I thought I heard something." Jennings nodded his head frantically, and scurried off to the door. He found it open slightly, but thought nothing of it. 

"The wind sir." He explained. Peters looked suspicious. He looked up and said loudly:

"FOWL, I KNOW YOU ARE HERE."

"You are correct in your theory." Came a voice nearby. "And I have come regarding the ransom for my Butler." A small figure emerged from the darkness. It was Artemis.

"Mpph!" Butler choked out. His eyes widened. 

"Keep your mouth closed, Butler." Said Peters, coolly.

"I have the money, as you asked," Artemis said. He slowly drew out the briefcase. 

"Money? Oh, yes, the RANSOM." He laughed heartily. "Do you really think this is about money, Fowl. I had thought you brighter than that."

"As I thought, it is not about money, so I'll just put this away. Now, what do you really want, eh, I didn't catch your name..."

"Peters. That is all you need to know." He flashed a toothy grin. "What I want------ is your intellect, Artemis."

"What?!?" Even Artemis was caught off-guard by the question. His eyes darkened, and he took a step backwards. 

"I have created a device that can suck the knowledge out of a man, and render him useless. I have searched for the brightest minds, and slowly sucked their life away, until they have the intellect of a toddler. And now, Fowl, I have found my best test subject yet. I will be the most brilliant man on the planet. Do you doubt me? Haven't you listened to the news? I have already had three other brilliant thinkers put in hospitals.... you can come willingly or fight, but the odds are against you." Peters paused and looked at Artemis, who was staring in disbelief at him. Artemis swallowed. 

"Do you really think I will come willingly?" He finally said. Peters smiled. Finally. A challenge.

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What about it? Only a few more chapters to go! Please review! Thanks!

~Maika =) i know its short but its just the way i write this story since it will be really short. 

I had hardly any reviewers! How am I supposed to make my work better if people don't review!? i need reviews, but I'm gonna go ahead and write the next chapter. But please READ AND REVIEW! thank you.

**I don't own Artemis Fowl or any of the other characters. Ok thats all. Now you can't accuse me of cheating and stealing Eoin Colfer's characters. So there!

Thanks to: 

~ Kelaal-- Here's the next chapter, so don't go insane! LOL! Thank you!

~ Maiden Genisis-- OK keep laughing and thanks for the review!

~ The Reviewer-- How do you know that Foaly won't come in later? I'm not saying he is, but keep reading and find out! =) Thanks for the review! 

~ Citrusy Snicket-- Thank u!!

**~ need another reviewer!!!


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